Women are angry. Women want respect. Women want equality. Women are putting rolls of yarn up their vagina.
I went to an all girls’ school, so, I get it: women are incredible. We’ve come a long way and sure, we may have some more digging to do, but first and foremost, we need to lighten up.
An Australian performance artist by the name of Casey Jenkins has taken feminism to a whole new level.
Jenkins sat in a museum for 28 days knitting a scarf. The yarn she used to knit the scarf was inserted every morning into her vagina in a way that allows the ball to unravel from the center.
You’re math is correct: 28 days means she also had her period during the process. She explains that this made the progression a little harder, considering the yarn was wet.
The installment was called “Casting Off My Womb,” and I truly don’t have the energy to delve into what it represented for women.
For me, as a woman, it made me uncomfortable and filled me with the giggles. Uncomfortable giggles.
I want Oakley to be a strong woman who knows she holds all of the power. I want her to know she is equal to every and all men. I want her to prove herself in every situation she faces.
I do NOT want her to knit out of her vagina.
I don’t want her to give birth in a museum, either, which another artist did in the name of feminism.
In fact, in the name of feminism, I’d really like O to keep her legs shut altogether; at least while in public.
Most importantly, while we’re at it, I’d really love O to have a sense of humor.
Women who are mad at men bombard me on social media. Not just evil, rapist, murdering kind of men. Men like Seth MacFarlane.
I loved the boob song. For those of you who can’t remember this event: Seth MacFarlane hosted the Oscars and sang a song called “We Saw Your Boobs.” In this song, he sang of some famous movies that came out that year in which even more famous actresses bared their chest.
Rarely did people quote the fine, elegant actresses (Jennifer Lawrence, Charlize Theron…) who found the bit rightfully hilarious. Only did the angry feminists who think boobs should only be talked about by other women (then stop showing them, ladies) get quoted in every article.
Had Tina Fey sang a little ditty called “We Saw Your Junk,” she’d be applauded. (Albeit would be a much shorter song.)
Women are also furious at women like Kate Upton for rolling around on a nice car covered in burger juices for a Carl’s Jr. commercial. Or are they mad at the men who held the gun to her head? Wait, did a man hold a gun to her head? Now, I’m lost…
All I know is I’m a straight, vegetarian woman and even I wanted a cheeseburger after that commercial.
Let’s re-cap. For O’s future, I want her to:
- Be a strong, independent and powerful woman.
- Laugh at songs sung by comedians during comedic sets.
- Roll around in burger juice on a car…wait…no…
I do NOT want her to:
- Knit any type of clothing from yarn in her vagina.
- Give birth in public.
- Show her lady parts in public, in general.
- Eat meat.