8 Things Women Realize After Having a Baby

We never knew we could love something so much. We never knew we could be so selfless. We also didn’t know something could be so exhausting.

But what about the other, less significant things we as mothers realize after that bundle of joy arrives?

Such as…

Everything is a hazard. Once babies start putting everything in their mouth, we become on high alert. Things are too hot, too cold or too sharp to touch. Things are too big, too small or too sharp to put in her mouth. Things are too loose, too tight or too sharp to have near her face. Everything is scary, and everything can choke her. Everything is too sharp.

Anything can be a toy. It’s the beauty of being a baby. Everything is new and exciting and feels funny on their hands. Suddenly, those pricy toys we registered for don’t hold a candle to that empty water bottle. Just pick something up and give it to them, they’ll love it. As long as it’s not something sharp.

The big stall in the public bathroom isn’t just for anybody. We’ve all done it: walking into the bathroom at a restaurant, grocery store or the like and heading straight to that big stall in the back. Going to the bathroom takes only a minute or two, but God forbid we pee in an area smaller than the powder room in our house. It turns out, however, that big stall has the changing table in it and we suddenly realize it’s time those who want the extra legroom need to make some sacrifices.  

Showers take a really long time. When baby goes down for a nap and we’ve done all of the other things that needed to be done during her previous naps, we may want to shower. However, even if we pick which essential parts to wash and nothing else, the baby will wake up, or make some kind of noise that causes us to check on her, shampoo running down our face, before we’re done. So, choose wisely.

Cartoons are funny. We all laughed at cartoons when we were kids, but adults rarely watch them by themselves. Once the child comes along, and we need to play something animated to make them smile sometimes, mothers learn that cartoon creators actually know what they’re doing. They know we’re sitting there, watching the cartoons with our little ones, so they throw in a joke or two for us, and it’s highly appreciated.

Poop is amazing. Maybe not all poop (the surprises your Chihuahua leaves on the carpet don’t get any better), but definitely baby poop. Is the baby’s poop this color? That means this. Is the baby’s poop this consistency? That means this. Is the baby pooping every day? That means this. Babies can’t tell us what’s wrong, but they can definitely show it in their diaper.

Zippers are better than snaps. Always. When babies are first born, their little onesies only have three snaps on the bottom: a quick 1-2-3 to the diaper motherland. However, as they get older, snaps are everywhere! Snaps on jackets, snaps on the back of dresses, snaps literally all the way up pajamas. We quickly realize finding zippers needs to be added into the shopping decision-making. Oh, and those outfits with actual buttons? Nightmare.

Our mother is incredible. Then there is that moment when we realize there is a woman who did this for us. The dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the sacrifices. She kept us safe and happy. The best part? When we need a night off or someone to call because our three-month-old has a rash on her neck that the Internet swore was fatal, our moms are still there. Waiting to keep us safe and happy. And away from all sharp objects.

 

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