I was a pumpkin for my first Halloween. What were you? Chances are, you were a pumpkin, too. If you weren’t a pumpkin when you were a baby, you were probably a Disney character, a vegetable, or some kind of animal, insects included.
Boring! Don’t get me wrong: it’s adorable. But, most babies look cute in plain, white onesies. Or air.
For O’s first Halloween, I want to do something different. Since it won’t mean anything to her, I want it to mean something to my husband and me. And by mean something, I mean I want to be freaking hilarious.
So, here are some options. Some are terribly inappropriate, but still very much up for consideration.
Breaking Bad: This was the most amazing show that has ever been on television. That part is not up for discussion. My husband and I were completely obsessed with it, and now that it is over, we want to hold on as long as we can.
So, my first idea was to dress her up as meth. As I type this, I pray that the police aren’t about to burst through my ceiling and snatch this computer right up from under me. I know it sounds crazy, but having her dressed in all blue and covered in baby blue rhinestones looks so cute in my head!
Okay, you can stop dialing CPS. Clearly, this one is off the list. So, my next thought was to put a beanie on her and make her Jesse Pinkman. THEN, I thought the whole family could go as the Whites. I would dress as Skyler with a giant glass of white wine, Kelly as Walter and the baby as baby Holly. So, if you vote for a Breaking Bad theme, this is what you’re asking for: we dress as the Whites.
Zombie: While this idea may be dead (pun intended) to many, we still love zombies. I saw a picture online of a baby with a toy brain, and because she was a baby, she naturally put the brain in her mouth all the time. Then, you just cover her with fake blood and call it a day. Precious!
Cupcake: While it’s in the cutesy category, I would take it a step further. If my husband and I were to dress as bakers and O was a cupcake-get it?! We made her…like bakers make cupcakes.
Potato chips: Oakley is allergic to milk. She also spits up a ton. All of this has led to us feeding her a formula that smells like potato chips. No one knows why, but it’s very pungent. So, if I took a bag of potato chips and emptied it and then proceeded to cut holes in it and then plop my baby inside it…
But, where do you go on Halloween with a baby? She can’t eat candy and she wouldn’t appreciate a good frat party. I’d put her picture here, up on Facebook and maybe even on the wall. A real wall. In a house, not a newsfeed.
Hell, maybe she should just be a pumpkin.
What was your baby for Halloween? Where’d you go? What’d you do?
Comment below with some stories of your own and ideas for O’s first fright night.
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